The Rabbi on Mason

Dear Friends,

As we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving, one of my wishes is that each of you enjoys a wonderful Holiday weekend with people you love. As a child my favorite Holiday was Thanksgiving and I still remember details about the family coming together and how priceless those memories are.

I hope that as we give thanks, we dedicate ourselves to sharing some of our blessings with those who are less fortunate. There are many opportunities to give toys for tots, donate food to food banks, help feed the homeless, and other meaningful ways in which we can make a difference. Please demonstrate how grateful we are by making a difference in the life of someone who is needy. Most of us have so much to give and what a beautiful way to show our gratitude when we help others.

On a separate note, we read in this week’s Torah portion of Jacob’s wrestling match with either himself, an angel, or perhaps even G-d. Jacob’s name changes and he becomes Israel which means to strive with G-d. How many of us are engaged in wrestling matches as we grapple with how we want to spend our college life, what we will major in, what careers we will pursue, who will be our friends, how go make it through finals, how to deal with difficult professors, how to interact with roommates…and the list goes on…?

I find the story of Jacob to be inspirational whenever I go through a challenging period in my life. I believe that although my name has never changed, my attitudes, dreams, goals, aspirations, and so much more are constantly evolving as I become a different and hopefully better person. May each of us will have faith that when we encounter bumps in the road, we will emerge stronger. When I used to vent to our daughter during trying times in my life she would tell me to look at the challenges as “adventures.”

I believe that these “adventures” are opportunities to grow and become the special and unique people that each of us becomes.

Shabbat Shalom, Happy Thanksgiving, and travel safely during this Holiday period. And…what I miss most is the opportunity to give my mom and dad a hug…so if you are fortunate enough to be seeing your parents and/or other loved ones…please give them a hug. Someday the memory will be priceless and will make you smile.

Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

This week we had an interesting combination special of days to commemorate a horrific event and special people. On Tuesday, we commemorated Krystallnacht, the Night of Broken Glass where Nazis pillaged Jewish institutions and stores. This horrible event occurred on Nov. 9 and 10, 1938. Yesterday we celebrated Veteran’s Day by honoring those who have devoted and are devoting a significant part of their lives to serving in our military. We are blessed to live during a time and in a place where the military is our friend and helps keep us safe. One of the most special things I did yesterday was to thank a member of our military personnel for their service and I want to personally thank all of you who are reading this who are Veterans, for your service to our country.

Recently, I saw the Broadway musical, Hair, and was reminded of the turbulent period of the ’60’s and ’70’s when a number of Americans were not nearly as supportive of our military personnel as we are today. I remember how we didn’t trust what our leaders were saying about Vietnam and how many demonstrations were held to emphasize the disconnect between our leaders and the American people. When we read this week’s Torah portion, Vayeitzei, we are reminded of the Laban’s deception and how untrustworthy he could be. In every era where there are complex issues, it is challenging to try to figure out who to believe and how to know if the people with whom we are dealing are being honest and forthright.

I was having a conversation with a college student and confiding in her that I thought I should have become involved in politics and run for office instead of becoming a rabbi. I told her that I thought I would have had more impact on our world if I had chosen this path. She told me that she thinks I made a wise decision when I became a rabbi because most of the time people trust their rabbi and politicians are not generally trusted. She asked me if being trusted was important to me and I realized that trust is such an important value.

I hope that we can be trustworthy in our interactions with others and even when we disagree with each other, we can do so in a way in which others will trust that we are being honest with them. In our challenging world, I wonder how many of us trust those who are making important communal decisions, how many of our leaders are being careful to be worthy of our trust and how many of those with whom we interact are sharing their honest intentions with us.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

Last week we read about Isaac and Ishamael coming together to bury their father, Abraham.

As we contemplate opportunities for peace building with our Arab neighbors, I hope that we can learn from our ancestors that there is a time for us to come together. Hopefully, it does not need to be limited to attending a funeral or to support each other during challenging times.

I teach a conflict resolution class where we talk about our interpersonal conflicts and I often wonder if we only seek ways to reconcile with others when faced with tragedy. Perhaps, through our Hillel here at George Mason, we should initiate a dialogue program with our fellow Arab students at GMU that could be facilitated by members of the staff of the Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution.

I hope you will let Scott or the leadership of Hillel know of your interest in participating in this new adventure. Peace in our time doesn’t have to be a dream….

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

As we think about celebrating Halloween on Sunday, I hope that each of us will remember that there are those who have no treats and will donate some of our candy to children’s shelters or other places where there are people in need. We remember that just as Abraham and Sarah opened their tent so that their guests could eat and drink (the origins of the mitzvah, hachnasat orchim, welcoming visitors), we open our homes to give sweets to children. I hope that we will remind our own kids and maybe even those who come trick or treating, that they should remember to share. Perhaps, as one colleague does, we should print a computerized IOU that we give to those who visit us. It could encourage people to donate a piece of candy for each piece that they keep or something creative that you and your family could develop….At IU, they closed a street to car traffic in order to encourage children to visit the fraternities and sororities so that the college students could make Halloween more special for some of the children in Bloomington. Someone else was going to be carrying a pushke (a Tzekakah container) so that people could make donations that could be used for a charity that meant something to him… (remember the old cans we carried to collect money for UNICEF when we were kids…Ok, I must be old and am dating myself….), someone else was bringing candy to a local hospital for cancer patients whose lives certainly could use a little sweetness….the list is endless of creative things we can do to help others at this time of year…

We are traveling back from the midwest where we had the rare opportunity to see all four of our children, our daughters-in-law, my mother-in-law, and our grandson. What a wonderful chance to reconnect with all of our kids and spend quality family time. I continue to treasure these special moments and urge all of us to spend as much time as we can with members of our families, friends, and others about whom we care. Many of you can remember celebrating Halloween and sitting on the floor dividing up the candy corn (my personal favorite!), the Reese’s peanut butter cups, the Three Musketeers…the list goes on and I am getting hungry just thinking about this!) We would share these moments with our parents and as a parent, I miss these special times. Take a minute, call your families back at home, and say trick or treat and share a personal memory of Halloween that will brighten the night for your parents, relatives, or whoever you were with for Halloween.

Shabbat Shalom, and be safe on this Halloween weekend.

Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

Can you imagine what it must have been like for Abraham to be circumcised as an adult as part of his new role as father of the Jewish people? In addition to being asked to leave his past behind and go to a new place to become the father of a great nation, he now is also undergoing major surgery to demonstrate his connection to our people. He and Sarah each undergo a name change as they take on their new responsibilities as our parents….AND THEN….

Visitors show up….Abraham runs to greet them and he and Sarah welcome them into their tent, caring for them. We learn from this the importance of Hachnasat Orchim, welcoming visitors. However, we also learn that Abraham and Sarah saw that their guests were in need of refreshment and immediately tried to meet their needs. I believe that as we live our daily lives, we encounter many who are in need and our tradition encourages us to find meaningful and creative ways to help them.

How many of us are willing to look at the people we know and those we don’t know and think about what we can do to help them meet their needs? How many of us feel that the people about whom we care and those whose lives intertwine with ours, are really in tune with our needs?

Included in a definition of love is the concept that we truly love someone when we know what causes them pain and try to help them feel less pain in their lives. As we think about how Abraham and Sarah reached out to their guests, I hope that each of us will look at some of the pain in the lives of someone we know, and try to help them feel better. Abraham and Sarah are rewarded for their mitzvah by being told they will be parents of a son. Our reward can be the recognition that we have demonstrated that we care about each other and in this way have alleviated a piece of the pain in our world, helping provide support for our loved ones, friends, neighbors, and acquaintances.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

I often wrestle with what it must have been like to be Abraham. He was told by G-d who he had no knowledge of (except perhaps through his father’s idol worship) to leave home and begin a new people. He made an agreement with a Divine Being that would become the basis of three major world religions. Can you imagine the risks involved in doing this? His father had just died and he had to begin a whole new life. So…as we read this weekly portion, what do we learn from it?

I would like to propose that this may have been one of the first examples of someone looking outside of the box at the possibilities that life can offer if we are willing to look at life from a new and fresh perspective. How many of us need to leave the comfort of our own ideas, perceptions, and understandings, and think about other ways of viewing things? Abraham is challenged to stretch himself and look at wholly and holy new opportunities to enrich his life and the lives of his descendants. He also learns that this Being that has challenged him to step outside of his comfort zone and not be limited to the teachings of his father, is also a Being who he will challenge. As we read the portion, Lech Lecha, and beyond, we will see that Abraham challenges G-d when he disagrees with G-d. How many of us have the intestinal fortitude and/or time to challenge either ourselves or those with whom we have relationships?

I hope that as we read this portion we will be inspired to look at new and creative ways of living our own lives. I hope we will challenge the assumptions which sometimes keep us from making changes and growing. I hope we will challenge ourselves to attend worship services more often, perform that extra mitzvah that can help repair a piece of our world, make that phone call to say hi to an old friend, or seek forgiveness from someone or forgive someone. At this time in our lives, how exciting it can be if we try something new and give ourselves the opportunity to think about new adventures and/or options to pursue both professionally and personally?

Nothing is more challenging to me that a car ride to college with one of our kids when we are together for several hours and we have meaningful conversations which cause both of us to look at things from a new perspective. Perhaps the lesson of Abraham is to be open to change in our lives and through changing our lives, helping to change the world…Perhaps real holiness occurs when we challenge each other in respectful ways that help each of us to learn more about each other and ourselves.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

This week in the Torah reading, we read about Noah and the Ark. I want us to think about the kind of evil that was present in the world of Noah and the Ark and whether there are any similarities to our world. I was recently speaking to a colleague who told me that she believes that we live in a world where we no longer practice civility. Think about it….a Congressman calls the President of the U.S. a liar; there is a protest about gays in the military at a funeral; When will we ever learn that although the First Amendment protects our right to free speech, that there are limits of decency and civility that should influence what comes out of our mouths. I have often referenced the words with which I grew up…”Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me…” As I have grown older, I have learned that the words of Rev. Robert Fulgham ring truer….”Stick and stones can break my bones, and words can break my heart.”

I urge all of us to regain a sense of civility in our interactions with others and be careful about how we express ourselves. We can disagree with the President and we can have strong perspectives about gays in the military, BUT we must be respectful and remember that the same lips that utter some of the unkind things we say are the same lips that recite holy prayers and say things like ” I love you.”

I hope that we will live in a world where we think about what we say and realize the impact that our words have on others.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

As we celebrate Simchat Torah, we are blessed to have the opportunity to complete the reading of the Torah and begin the cycle of reading the Torah again. What a wonderful concept…learning is never completed and there are always new insights which we can obtain through our ongoing commitment to Torah learning. I am always inspired by the end of the final section of the Torah which concludes with the word “Yisrael” or Israel from the book of Deuteronomy and the first word of the beginning of the Torah from the book of Genesis which is “B’raysheet” which is usually translated as “in the beginning.” The last letter of Yisrael and the first letter of B’raysheet spell the Hebrew word, “lev” which means heart. I believe that it takes a lot of heart to be Jewish and to commit to a life where Jewish learning is an important priority and I also think that among the most important aspects of being Jewish is to have a heart.

We have completed a very intense Holiday season that encourages us to forgive others, seek forgiveness, and turn to our best selves and begin again. This process is not easy and requires a great deal of effort. When we complete the reading of the Torah(or any of the five books of Moses which are found in the Torah), we say “hazak, hazak, v’nithazeik” which translates as “may we be strong and strengthen each other.” I believe that a measure of our strength is our commitment to helping each other to be stronger and face whatever challenges life presents us by being there to care for and support the members of our community. In this new year, I look forward to many opportunities for us to come together and strengthen, not only each other, but the members of our community who are less fortunate than we are. One of the teachings of the Ethics of our Ancestors(Pirke Avot) says that the world stands on three things, Torah, worship, and deeds of loving-kindness. May 5771 be a year in which we all turn our hearts to study, prayer, and making a difference through the deeds we perform.

B’shalom,

Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

As we celebrate Sukkot, I thought you would find the message below to be informative. I hope that during this Festival when we are commanded to be happy, zman simchateinu, time of our rejoicing, that we can find some way to add happiness to our lives and bring happiness to the lives of others.

Hag Sukkot Sameach.
Rabbi Bruce Aft
GMU Hillel Rabbinic Advisor/GMU Adjunct Faculty/Rabbi Cong. Adat Reyim

From Hillel.org and MyJewishLearning.com
By Rabbi Jason Miller
Be Our Guest

In this week’s parsha, we learn that on the third day after Abraham had circumcised himself, he hosted three angels who appeared in human form. Recovering from this procedure in the excruciating heat of the midday sun, our patriarch still urged them to receive his hospitality. Not only that, but as soon as Abraham saw these three men standing near him, he ran to greet them (vayaratz likratam). Not realizing these men were angels, Abraham took these strangers into his home and offered them water to wash their feet and shade to rest. With his wife Sarah’s help, the guests were treated to a feast of bread and meat, curds and milk. He personally served these strangers the delicacies and attended to their needs.

In tractate Bava Metzia of the Babylonian Talmud, we find a Midrash explaining that the Israelites benefit later on as a result of Abraham’s kindness to these strangers:

Rab Judah teaches in Rab’s name: Everything which Abraham personally did for the Ministering Angels, the Holy One Blessed be God did for God’s children [the Israelites]; and whatever Abraham did through a messenger, the Holy One Blessed be God did for God’s children through a messenger [Moses].

Abraham’s hospitality serves as a wonderful example for us all. The parsha begins with God visiting Abraham at the entrance of his tent, but as soon as the three men appear, Abraham turned away from God to attend to these guests. In so doing, he teaches us that hospitality (hachnasat orchim) is a significant mitzvah and value for us.

There are three fall holidays on which hachnasat orchim is emphasized. They are not all religious holidays, but we learn from their message nevertheless. The first of these is the pilgrimage festival of Sukkot. On these eight holy days (seven in Israel), we invite ushpizin (Aramaic for “guests”), or distinguished individuals from our people’s history, into our sukkot. Traditionally, we invite Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Aaron, Joseph and David to join our families each night of the holiday. The more progressive and egalitarian among us include some illustrious women who made their mark on the Jewish people as well, including Sarah, Miriam, Deborah, Hannah, Abigail, Hulda and Esther.

In addition to these biblical guests, it is important for us to open our sukkot to others as well, and especially to those who do not have sukkot in their own backyards and those unfamiliar with the tradition. This year, my family invited any student who wanted to join us for a barbeque on the Sunday night of Sukkot. More than 70 undergraduates and graduate students, religious and secular, Jewish and non-Jewish, visited our sukkah and had the opportunity to recite the blessing of dwelling in the sukkah. I was proud to demonstrate this message of hospitality to my 2-year-old son.

While the Halloween tradition is certainly a controversial one among North American Jews because of its pagan roots, there is a positive side to its celebration as well. In today’s hectic times, neighbors so infrequently visit one another. The days of neighborhood kids, let alone their parents, dropping in on one another to say hello and shmooze is long gone. Yet on Halloween, millions of children and their parents trek around the neighborhood ringing doorbells, offering greetings and sharing candy. Ideally, this ritual would encourage some to invite their neighbors inside their homes to visit and become acquainted. For many, the Halloween experience is quite likely the first time they see the inside of their next-door neighbors’ homes. Therefore, for those who find Halloween a problematic enterprise, the opportunity for hachnasat orchim will hopefully serve as a positive.

Finally, the Thanksgiving holiday is inching upon us. This festive affair is an opportunity for us to gather with friends and family, consider all the good in our lives and give thanks to God for our good fortune. It is also a time for us to consider making room at our table for strangers to join us. Opening our homes to guests on Thanksgiving is a way to share the experience with others and demonstrate our value of hachnasat orchim. With a mother who works in residential real-estate, our family always had strangers at our Thanksgiving dinner table. Each year, my mother would invite those clients who had recently bought new homes and relocated to Michigan and did not have family nearby. This quickly become an annual minhag (custom) and encouraged us to be even more grateful on Thanksgiving that we were able to celebrate together with family.

The Jewish people place much emphasis on hospitality. We marry under a chuppah that is open on all sides to remind us of the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim. As we study the example demonstrated by our patriarch Abraham and our matriarch Sarah to welcome the stranger and make them feel at home, let us strive to be better hosts. Let us always be mindful to keep our tent doors open whether those doors are the doors of our home or the doors of our Hillel. Just as our people were rewarded because of Abraham and Sarah’s genuine hospitality, may we all be rewarded with abundant blessings for making the stranger feel at home among us.

Prepared by Rabbi Jason Miller, Assistant director, University of Michigan Hillel

Learn More
Additional commentaries and text studies on Parshat Va’yera at MyJewishLearning.com.

Dear Friends,

As we approach Yom Kippur, I hope that each of you who fast, find meaning in your fast and that the opportunity to seek forgiveness and give forgiveness, enriches your life.

I continue to quote the Rod Stewart song, “Reason To Believe” because I believe it is difficult to “leave the past behind.” As Stewart writes,” If I’d only let you change my mind, I’d find a way to leave the past behind….knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried, still I look to find a reason to believe. Someone like you makes it hard to live without somebody else…someone like you makes it easy to give, never thinking about myself…”

We often do hurt the people we love and seeking forgiveness from them and granting forgiveness to them is not easy. It takes courage to admit a mistake and then to seek forgiveness. It also takes courage to be able to forgive someone who has wronged us.

I hope that each of you will dig deeply into your heart and somehow seek out someone who you have wronged and ask their forgiveness and I hope that if someone seeks you out to ask forgiveness, that you will be compassionate toward that person.

To be totally frank…it doesn’t always work and it can be very frustrating when we seek someone out and they won’t forgive us or if we try to forgive someone but they continue to hurt us….I wish I had a magic wand and could make these interactions lead to happy endings. We don’t always get what we had hoped for and can be very disappointed at this time of year….BUT…I hope we will make that call, send that e-mail, see that person, or do whatever we believe in our hearts will help lead to forgiveness and new beginnings.

Good luck in your efforts and may you and those you love be sealed for a healthy, fulfilling, and safe new year.

G’mar chatima tovah,

Rabbi Bruce Aft
GMU Hillel Rabbinic Advisor
Congregation Adat Reyim
GMU Adjunct Professor