Dear Friends,
This week we read from the portion of the Torah, Yitro which is named after Moses’ father-in-law. He is well known of suggesting to Moses that he not try to judge every case that the Israelite people bring before him, but rather to delegate responsibilities to others in order to be a better leader of our ancestors. Jethro is considered to be a righteous man and our tradition holds him in great esteem since this week’s portion which bears his name is the portion where we first read of the 10 Commandments. There is a discussion in a commentary that I will discuss on Shabbat morning about how Yitro responds to Moses when he tells him about the kindness that G-d showed the Israelites by redeeming them from Egyptian bondage.
In one commentary by Rabbi Jack Riemer, he quotes the following poem by Merle Feld in a book entitled, “Finding Words” published by URJ press. It describes how and when we support people. As I read it, it may be realize that many of us are good at being there for others during times of trouble, but how many of us truly rejoice with others when times are good. As we think about our own friends, we provide ongoing support to those who are in need, but how many of us continue to be present for others who are going through wonderful occasions in their lives. Do we truly rejoice with others during their “simchas” or happy moments, or do we somehow envy their success and so pull back from those who are enjoying success? Are we receptive to their complaints and desire for support even though it seems from the outside that everything is going so well for them….
The poem made me pause to think….I hope you will do the same….
I have a friend whose luck has turned,
After all these years her ship has come in-
A job that pays well, a worthy position
In her field of expertise, contracts for prestigious
And lucrative projects—first one, then two—
Necessitating travel to far-off, exotic destinations.
And I’m happy for her, and proud—I tell everyone
How well she is doing, and certainly
At the beginning of this new karma
I rejoiced that after all the years of struggle
She finally was enjoying such good fortune.
And yet I notice we speak less often now
And when we do, I notice as she complains
Of exhaustion, an unforgiving commute
And the challenge of juggling so many responsibilities,
There’s a sadness in my shoulders, a weight
On my chest that results in shallow breathing.
I notice that my listening is less eager
Than it was a year ago when her good fortune
Was fresh, when ghosts of the many lean, hard years
Were still lurking in corners, frustrated, angry.
After I hang up I’m in a foul mood, measuring
All the narrow places in my life, thinking ‘almost’
And ‘if only’. I remind myself how much I love her,
How talented and worthy, and deserving
She is, but still I reach for the phone
Less and less now, and I avoid wondering
What it means to be the sort of person
Who can stick to her friends through miscarriage,
Unemployment, divorce, widowhood, chemo, locusts
And death of the firstborn, but uncover so much trouble
Bearing witness to an abundant harvest.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft
GMU Hillel Rabbinic Advisor